Pregnant at 43 – Being an Older Mum

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It was never my plan to be an older Mummy. But in May 2015 I found myself being pregnant at 43.
Pregnant at 43 - being an older Mum

Pregnant at 43 – Being an Older Mum

In 2014 I had practically given up on dating. I’d split up from a long term relationship in 2011 when I was 39, and spent most of 2012 going on disastrous and ridiculous dates. I’d even spent time in a toxic relationship with a psychopathic man who left me feeling lower in self esteem than I had ever felt.
I started to think that I would never meet anyone again, let alone have a family. I had always thought that I’d get married, have children. Things didn’t seem to be going according to my plans at all.
Then, in the summer of 2014 I met Andrew. It all seemed so right. We talked very seriously about our future, but I was very aware of my age and how this might be against us having a family.

Body Problems

Furthermore, my body seemed to be reminding me of how old I was. My periods were becoming irregular, and this worried me that at 42 I may be entering the menopause. I went to my GP who referred me to my local hospital gynaecology department. There, the consultant basically told me that at my age I was going to struggle getting pregnant. I seem to recall that his exact words were

“Halle Berry is an exception and not the rule”

Dismayed by this sentiment, I passed on these words to Andrew. And we decided that we needed to start trying straight away for a family, even though we had only been together 6 months.

Getting Pregnant at 43

A couple of months went by, and I still hadn’t conceived. I used ovulation strips to test whether I was ovulating. The gynaecologist has also commented that I wouldn’t be ovulating every month any more, and would be lucky to be ovulating once in 3 months.
 I really wanted to make sure we were doing all we could to maximise our chances, but it all seemed a bit much. A GP friend who is a year younger than me had just had a baby. She told me that they had been trying for years. A bit of good news was that my brother and his wife announced that they had got pregnant after 8 years of trying and several IVF treatments. Whilst I was incredibly happy for them I secretly hoped that it wouldn’t be the same for us.
To find the cause of my irregular periods they did blood tests and ultrasounds. When no cause could be found they then did a hysteroscopy, where a small camera is pushed into the womb to check the womb lining. They found a small lump or polyp and this was removed. (And luckily this turned out to be benign)
By the end of the next month I found out that I was pregnant. We were so delighted. And then absolutely terrified!
Pregnant at 43

Being Pregnant at 43

My pregnancy was uneventful, thank goodness. I had minimal morning sickness. I was however worried about my weight. As you may have read, I have always had weight issues, but when I got pregnant I weighed over 15 stones. Not ideal.
Thankfully it wasn’t made an issue of by the midwife nor the consultant obstetrician. My age worried them far more. I was amused when the midwife put in my notes that I was an ‘elderly primigravida’
At 12 weeks I went public at work with the news. Most of my colleagues were delighted. But I was slightly bemused by some of my patient’s comments. “Was it planned?” was a regular question from some of my patients. I wondered why they said this. Was it because I am older? It did make me chuckle.
However, I was less amused when I received a phone call from a hospital midwife around the 12 week mark discussing the increased risks of Down’s Syndrome.
I was offered extra tests, as statistically women over 40 have a greater chance of having a baby born with Downs. I refused the tests. There are risks associated with having the tests, and I did not wish to risk my pregnancy in the slightest. Nor would the outcome of the test have changed me having the baby.

Later Stages of being Pregnant

I felt great in the second trimester of pregnancy. I had tonnes of energy, and did lots of planning for the nursery, and buying of the things that our new baby would need.
However when the third trimester came around, I really started to feel achy and weary. I had been told I had an anterior placenta. This meant that my placenta was placed to the front of my stomach instead of being placed towards my back, which is more usual. Due to this I felt much less baby movements than normal. And to top it all off, my extra weight also hindered my feeling movement.
I was very scared at this lack of movement, and my anxiety made the last few weeks of my pregnancy very stressful. At the end of the day I was very thankful when the consultant agreed that due to my age, weight and complications I should be induced at 38 weeks.
Two days after my 44th Birthday, my little girl was born. Pregnant at 43 – Mummy at 44.
Now I look back and realise how absolutely lucky we were. I naturally conceived at 43, which is quite miraculous. Also, I truly believe that if I hadn’t had the polyp removed that the right conditions wouldn’t have been there. Who knows, I could’ve still been trying?
Have you had a child in your forties?
I would love to hear your stories. Do comment below, or contact me on social media.
Enjoyed this? Why not read about my Pros and Cons of Being an Older Mother
Or read about my quest to find an exercise that I might enjoy in Anyone for Tennis?
Elizabeth has sleep apnoea – read here about how we coped with her sleeping

I’m taking part in the Mummy Monday linky with Becca from Becca Blogs It Out

3 Little Buttons

Being Pregnant at 43 - My Story of Becoming An Older Mother

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36 Replies to “Pregnant at 43 – Being an Older Mum”

    1. Jo Boyne says:

      Thank you for your comment Stacey. There really is hope. I found my Mr Right at 42 and had baby perfect within 18 months. Sometimes life can throw everything at you.

      Reply
  1. Amanda Manning says:

    Ahh this is a lovely story to share Jo. What a gorgeous little girl Elizabeth is too. Just the absolute double of you, and an incredibly lucky girl to have you as her mummy.

    It’s so lovely to see you finally so happy!
    Lots of love my long lost friend xxx

    Reply
    1. Jo Boyne says:

      Aw, thank you Amanda. It’s a strange path that life takes us, isn’t it? I just feel so blessed right now. Lovely to see you doing so well too, gorgeous lady xxx

      Reply
  2. Susan Foster says:

    I had my daughter when I was 38 and like yourself, I refused the tests for Down’s Syndrome, the thought of them just scared me, luckily she was fine. I’m now on my own and have yet to meet a Mr Right! To be honest I put all my efforts into looking after my daughter and haven’t really been looking.

    Reply
    1. Jo Boyne says:

      Being an older mum comes with it’s own pros and cons I have discovered. I just count myself as very lucky to have my little family. As for being in that dating pool…I do not envy you (if you do ever feel like looking, that is). I’m sure that there is a whole book in my dating disaster stories!

      Reply
  3. Bexa says:

    This is such a lovely post! I’m so glad you found love and became a mummy too! It’s funny how unexpected life can turn out. I wish you and your family all the happiness and thank you for sharing your story xx

    Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com

    Reply
    1. Jo Boyne says:

      Thank you for your comment Bexa. You are so right. Life has completely changed for me, but it’s a very good thing! X

      Reply
  4. Ruth says:

    So happy for you that you got your little girl! Your story resonated with me as I had my daughter at 41. All my (10 years younger!) mummy friends are having number 2 now and I can’t help but be a little envious but then remind myself I’m lucky to have one healthy and thoroughly mischievous little girl.

    Reply
    1. Jo Boyne says:

      Thank you Ruth. I do think as more women have careers we are waiting longer and having children later. I think it’s no bad thing, but yes, I also feel a little envious of my friends with two children. Like you I’m just feeling incredibly lucky to have my gorgeous girl though. X

      Reply
  5. Tiana says:

    Congrats!!!!! I am 31 and am far from ready to have kids. I am jealous of those with kids but I think it is good to live your life a little before having them.

    Tiana/ fablemoonsays.com

    Reply
    1. Jo Boyne says:

      I totally agree. At 31 I was also not ready for children. I had just started making my mark on the world. There are pros and cons to leaving having children until later in life, and I can certainly agree with doing all the things for you first. Thank you for your comment.

      Reply
  6. Chris Westhead says:

    Hi Jo so pleased you got your little girl. My son and daughter in law got pregnant first pregnancy when my daughter in law was 42 Ava was born in Oct 2016 and will be 2 this Oct and is such a joy to everyone. Lots of love from chris and James hope you are well xx

    Reply
    1. Jo Boyne says:

      Aw, thank you Chris. I do feel so blessed to have E. It’s lovely to have a little person around, as I’m sure you know with Ava. They are so funny at 2. Lots of love to yourself and James xx

      Reply
  7. Joanna Melia says:

    Thanks for sharing. I had my little girl at 39 and worried I’d left it too late. It took us a while to conceive but managed it naturally and had a relatively easy pregnancy, but I think the lack of sleep would have been easier to deal with when I was younger

    Reply
    1. Jo Boyne says:

      Oh I agree. The lack of sleep and being less supple has been my downfall definitely! We now go to bed at 9pm some nights!

      Reply
  8. Becca says:

    I’m so glad everything worked out for you I’m a firm believer that everything happens when it’s supposed to! x

    Reply
    1. Jo Boyne says:

      Oh I agree. I’ll always believe that everything happens for a reason, and usually things turn out for the best!

      Reply
  9. Melissa says:

    Aw I’m so glad it worked out for you. I had unexplained inferility and it took 8 years to have my daughter aged 36. We gave up after failed IVF and got pregant naturally after stopping to try. Now I’m 40 and baby 2 does not look likely for me. We are chosing to go down the adoption route instead unless something happens in the very near future! I’ve had it with tests though. x

    Reply
    1. Jo Boyne says:

      I am so happy that you finally got your little girl! We have tried for baby number 2 but it hasn’t happened. What will be will be. Thank you for reading x

      Reply
    1. Jo Boyne says:

      I so enjoy being a mummy. My life has totally changed, and it it great! X

      Reply
    1. Jo Boyne says:

      Thank you. My other half would say I was awfully anxious by the end, but we got a gorgeous girl, so it was worth it!

      Reply
  10. Leah Munden says:

    I too am an “older” mummy. I had my 1st baby at 38 and my youngest who is now 7 months old at 40. I conceived naturally with no problems with both. I found pregnancy hard, but I was in good health. I’m so pleased you got your chance to have a baby and become a mum. #MummyMonday

    Reply
    1. Jo Boyne says:

      Thank you Leah. I personally found that the healing after pregnancy was harder as I was older. And I really didn’t cope well with the sleep deprivation! Thank you for your comments

      Reply
  11. Rachael Hope says:

    This was a great read 🙂 I often question whether I want children. I think I do? But not right now! As a woman there seems to be a lot of pressure to make the decision sooner rather than later. Thank you so much for sharing your experience 🙂

    Rach

    Reply
    1. Jo Boyne says:

      I certainly can see why leaving childbirth until later is good for so many women. I think the thing is to do what is best for you and your life. Thank you for reading x

      Reply
  12. Heather Keet says:

    How absolutely awesome that this dream came true for you! I’m so glad it all went well and you have the family you wanted and needed. #DreamTeam

    Reply
    1. Jo Boyne says:

      Thank you. It’s amazing how much my life has changed #DreamTeam

      Reply

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