Ode To My Kegels – A Poem For Mother’s Day

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This week I have had a hacking chest infection. And every time I cough, I pee. I know – too much info – It’s a bit embarrassing. But when I spoke to one of my closest friends, she admitted she was also suffering. It’s a common problem in ladies of a certain age who have had children. So with this in mind, and in the knowledge that it is Mother’s Day this weekend, I decided to write a little poem for mother’s everywhere. I call it an Ode To My Kegels.

Ode To My Kegels

Ode To My Kegels


I wish I’d done my kegels more

I wish I’d clenched my pelvic floor

For me a star jump’s done no more

I wish I’d done my kegels more.


I wish I’d done some exercise

Of muscles deep between my thighs

Now I need panties oversize

I wish I’d done my kegels more.


I wish I’d toned them hard enough

To make my bladder strong and tough

Instead of wee gush when I cough

I wish I’d done my kegels more.


I wish I’d done them every night

A close friend warned me – she was right

No TENA ladies in hindsight

I wish I’d done my kegels more.


I could have made my sphincters tense

Urinary incontinence

Has really knocked my confidence

I wish I’d done my kegels more.


I wish that I’d not been remiss

Conditioned my pelvic abyss

Instead of stinking now of piss

I wish I’d done my kegels more!

Looking for the ideal Mothers Day Present? Find some ideas here!

I hope you enjoyed the Ode to my Kegels. Can you sympathise? Why not share if you have enjoyed. Or pin for later?

Ode To My Kegels

Twin Mummy and Daddy

11 Replies to “Ode To My Kegels – A Poem For Mother’s Day”

  1. Emily says:

    Haha brilliant ode! Made me chuckle, but also reminded me perhaps this is something I should start doing?! Thanks for joining in with #ThatFridayLinky

    1. Jo Boyne says:

      Thank you. Yes, maybe we should all be doing these! Thank you for reading.

  2. Jayne @ Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs says:

    Haha! Brilliant and totally relatable. The things we have to put up with hey! I used to be young and cool, now I’m nearly 40 and have to concentrate when I sneeze!

    Have a lovely weekend and Mother’s Day! x #MMBC

  3. JOhn Adams says:

    I think this is a poem that any woman who has had children probably needs to read! I guess it’s not too late to start now? Happy mother’s day for tomorrow. #thatfridaylinky

    1. Jo Boyne says:

      Thank you! Definitely a mum issue. Thank you for reading.

  4. Louisa says:

    Lol, this made me smile. Thankfully I cannot relate to it. I had to do lots of pelvic exercise due to my hip injury and they have certainly paid off in other areas. It is never too late to start doing them #mmbc


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