How Can I Deal With My Jealousy?

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How can I deal with my jealousy?

How Can I Deal With My Jealousy?

I am. So. Jealous.

There, I’ve said it.

Jealous of your car, your house, your jewellery. Jealous of your bulging bank account, your skinny body, your flat abs and total lack of bum whilst mine is humungous.

Totally jealous of the celebrity lifestyles that the magazines portray, celebrities with their perfect faces, perfect hair, perfect lives.

I am a proper green eyed monster.

I feel very sorry for the young people of today. When I was growing up, there was no Internet, fashion and beauty magazines were few and there wasn’t the pressure to be perfect or be a copy of anyone. I am so glad of this, as I was a ‘dumpy’ girl growing up on a northern council estate with frizzy hair, I needed no further blows to my already diminished self esteem.

Looking back I can remember that we only sought to emulate and innovate, not copy our heroes. It now seems that there is a crushing need to be homogenous, cloned. Stepfordesque. Put this with the fact that airbrushing is the norm in the media and there is now a recipe for so much damage to be done. It is a formula to a sad and ever more obsessive spiral of self-loathing and jealousy that the media and world seem to be creating and perpetuating. No wonder there are so many ‘trolls’ on Twitter.

All of this may go some way to explaining my jealousy. I have also always been competitive, which probably accounts for the rest. My motto has always been to be the best, or at least try my best. So god help you if you are better than me, because I’ll be very jealous.

My jealousy will stay in my head though.

You’ll probably never even know, and I will still be your best friend. It will eat at myself than it will ever impact on our relationship. As the positive part of what makes me jealous will make me strive to better myself. Not to be better than you, but be better for me.

We all think ‘The grass is always greener on the other side’. It rarely is, the trick is to realise this early enough so as not to devote your time and effort trying to be something you are not.

How can I deal with my jealousy?

Instead of trying too hard to become something that we can never be, constantly berating ourselves for failing to become that which we have no way of attaining, we should learn to appreciate the things we do have. Appreciate the good relationships we have.

See our positive qualities and develop those to the maximum. See the positive things that we love about our bodies, our personalities, our environment and our homes. Stop complaining over things we can’t change, and start living.

Just recently a close friend told me she was a little envious of me. This shocked me, as this friend seems to live a pretty charmed existence. She is slim, attractive, has a job which pays well but from where I sit has limited responsibility (compared to my job anyway) and always seems to be the centre of attention. I have been envious of these qualities, so was rather taken aback to discover her envy of me. She explained that I have so much that she doesn’t have. A paid off mortgage, a nice car, savings. As she is going through her second divorce she hasn’t any of these things.

So I guess the conclusion

How can I deal with my jealousy? By trying to remember that we all have something that others are jealous of.

That supermodel with the perfect body and perceived perfect life may be going through hellish cravings for that huge bar of chocolate in your fridge.

A celebrity may long for some privacy and anonymity, just to go down to Tesco without being ‘papped’.

Someone very near to your may be very jealous of your talent for singing, drawing, or even the way you can talk to anyone you meet with ease.

Discover your talent and passion, and devote love to this. Just be you, and forget about being jealous of anyone else.

I hope that this has helped. I would love to hear your comments, do put them below of follow me on social media

Enjoyed this? Why not read Clearing Stress by Clearing Clutter

or Finding the Motivation to Lose Weight

How can I deal with my jealousy

9 Replies to “How Can I Deal With My Jealousy?”

  1. Suzy says:

    Great article, really relate to this! I hate to admit being a jealous person, I’ve always put it down to my own insecurities and lack of confidence. Always a good reminder that the grass is always greener, thank you for sharing your tips!

    1. Jo Boyne says:

      Thank you Suzy. I know jealousy isn’t an attractive thing. It just gives me some perspective to remember that other people may look as though they have their lives together, so that we are all muddling along sometimes! Thank you for your comment. x

  2. Becca says:

    Right there with you! I find myself being jealous of other people all the time and I hate it

    1. Jo Boyne says:

      Well, can I say that I envy your youth and the fact that you have two gorgeous babies. I would love a little brother or sister for E, but it probably won’t happen. See. We all have something that other people would give their right arm for. Just be yourself, gorgeous lady x

  3. Sophie Wentworth says:

    I’m really glad that I’m not too much of a jealous person, the odd little thing here and there but nothing major. Always think that you could have something that other people are jealous of/ would love to have too. Everyone has their own things. I agree it’s so important to just be yourself x

    1. Jo Boyne says:

      Thank you for your comment. It’s not a nice emotion to have!

  4. Sigrid Chu says:

    Hello Jo,

    Thank you for this post!

    I share your sentiments. The internet has brought us so many good things, but there are some not so good things too. Now, more than ever, we need the right mindset in order to survive those not so good things.


    1. Jo Boyne says:

      Ironically, the internet can also be a great help in creating the right mindset. Since blogging I have been heartened to find many like-minded people, which has given me a fresh perspective and a renewed belief in the kindness in other people. Thank you for your comment.


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